Seeking Asylum
by firecracker1990
Summary: Harleen Quinnzel is NOT what the Joker expected. A chubby new doctor at the Asylum. She's looking for a normal life and a decent career, but he sees what's hiding inside her, what lies beneath all the extra layers of fat. A pretty little clown, dying to get out and play with him. His own little harlequin. Rated M for future lemons and violence.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hi all! So this is my first time writing our lovely Harley Quinn and Joker- so I apologize in advance if there are any mistakes. Please review, and let me know what you think!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Suicide Squad**

"Code Blue!" Harleen heard the screaming and yelling from her office and before she could jump up and lock her door, it was kicked open.

"Hey there fatty." A deep voice spoke from the shadows of the doorway, and Harleen pushed herself back against the wall, her heart racing as she took in the man before her.

"You need to go back to your cell- let me call your doctor." She quickly reached for the phone, but the patient ran forward, punching her in the face and causing her eyebrow to split. She screamed as he laughed, and grabbed her collar, dragging her out of the office quickly.

"Let me go!" She yanked her arms roughly, her heart racing as she saw other patients out and causing chaos.

"Call Doctor Arkham!" She screamed to an orderly who just stared in shock as the large man dragged her down the hall.

"Do something!" She screamed back, her heart racing as she still struggled.

"Take this one up top- we'll have fun with her there, they love girls with meat on their bones" She gasped when they threw her into an elevator, and hit the button for the 10th floor.

"No… no no no!" She screamed as another patient held her, smiling down at her.

"They're going to eat you alive." She glared at him, her heart racing as the doors opened. It was chaos- total and uncontrollable chaos. Orderlies were either dead or unconscious, security guards were nowhere to be seen, and the patients were loose, running wild.

"New meat!" An enthusiastic woman ran forward, grinning as she shoved Harleen forward into the mess.

"Ah the new doctor!" Some of the men stopped and turned to her, and Harleen knew, this is when she was going to die.

"You all need to return to your cells…" She tried to sound brave, but she was met with loud laughter, and she took a deep breath, trying again.

"Return to your cells!" She yelled it this time, but they moved forward as a group, all grinning down at her. She shut her eyes tightly as they came forward, and then took a deep breath. She knew that there was a cart near her that held syringes full of sedative, she just wasn't sure if she'd make it to them in time. She opened her eyes quickly- if she was going to die here, she was going to go down swinging.

She darted to the cart, grabbing a handful of needles and they froze, taking her in for a moment. She noticed the inmates stared at her with wide, fearful eyes, and she felt the blood burn in her veins. They had every right to be scared.

"That's right- I'll fight all of you if I have to! Now go back to your cells!" She screamed it loudly, blood running down her face from the cut next to her eye, and blood splattered across her jacket as she held the empty syringe like a dagger. A few of them stepped back, but it wasn't until Harleen heard the horrible cackle behind her, that she realized it wasn't her they feared.

She turned slowly, staring up at him with wide eyes. He towered over her, well over 6 feet tall, and she stood before him, like a little girl caught stealing from a candy store.

"You _heardddd_ the good doc-tor. Back to your cells." Harleen turned, and watched as the remaining patients scrambled back to their cells and shut the doors. She slowly turned back to the man before her, his white skin, shining under the flashing lights.

"You must be new, it's a _pleasure_ to make your acquaintance." He dropped into a deep bow, his hand over his heart, his eyes on her, shining as he took her in. She nodded slowly, the syringe shaking in her hand as she took a step back.

"Go back to your cell." He smiled, taking a small step forward.

"Do you think you could kill me?" She nodded quickly, her eyes hardening as she stared at him.

"Go back to your cell, **Joker**." He grinned widely at her, his green hair looking darker than usual.

"So you know me- a _fan_ perhaps?" She narrowed her eyes as she heard feet pounding on the ground behind her.

She turned quickly, watching in horror as more inmates came running at her. She felt a hand around her waist, and screamed as it ripped her backwards.

He threw her to the ground and slammed his cell door shut. Harleen heard the distinct sound of the door locking. She looked up in horror from the ground, seeing the inmates grumbling and yelling outside, before moving on. She pulled herself up slowly, cradling the arm that she landed on, and looking up at the Joker in fear.

"You… you saved me?" He shrugged, walking over to his bed and sitting down slowly, leaving Harleen to slide down the wall and sit across from him.

"Or maybe I'm just prolonging your _torture_." His teeth glimmered as he smiled at her, and he ran his hands through his hair, pushing it back from his face.

"You know the last lockdown lasted _four days_." She groaned, leaning her head back against the wall and thinking about how her day started so normal.

"Wanna _talk_ about it?" He was grinning at her, his wide smile showed all of his teeth, and she thought he looked rather like the cat that caught the canary.

"No." He smiled, studying her arm and how she awkwardly held it.

"Broken?" He jutted his jaw to it and she shrugged, curling her knees up to her chest and resting her chin on them.

"My my… you're _almost_ as quiet as I am with my doctors." He mused at this, lying back on his cot and staring at his ceiling.

"I'm sorry if I don't feel like having a therapy session with a deranged murderer." He grinned widely at that, looking over to her again.

"I like your spirit." She sighed, glancing out the cell doors as all of the madness outside. People were dying, the patients were rioting, and she was locked inside a cell- with the most dangerous of them all.

"Why aren't you out there?" He glanced over to her, studying her for a few moments when she was looking away from him.

"I prefer it in _here._ " She looked over to him and his eyes darted away quickly. She took him in then, studying him carefully. She'd seen pictures of him, but they didn't prepare her for what he was actually like. He was magnificent. His hair was bright green, his skin pearly white and nearly covered in tattoos. She continued to stare, even when he turned to face her, she stared; taking him in.

"It's **rude** to stare." She didn't even respond, she just sat quietly, unable to look away.

"You should take a _picture_ \- it would last longer." He started to look away in annoyance, but froze when he heard her answer.

"I have one. It doesn't do you justice." He turned back to her, quirking an eyebrow curiously.

"You _have_ a picture of me?" She nodded, not even looking embarrassed. He noticed how pale her skin was becoming as she stared at him, even her full pink lips were losing their color.

"I studied you in school." He sat up slowly, watching as she started to shiver.

"They said I was crazy… they all said I was crazy…." She was starting to mumble to herself, and put her head on her knees, rocking herself carefully.

 _Shock. She was going into shock_. He watched her carefully for a minute, before grabbing the thin blanket off his bed, and carefully wrapping it around her shoulders. He watched as tears welled in her eyes, and she rocked herself faster, her breathing becoming erratic.

"Are you going to kill me?" Her head snapped up to him so fast he fell back in surprise, taking in her piercing blue eyes that were shining with tears.

"I haven't decided yet." She nodded, tears slipping down her cheeks as she burst out laughing, the sound drowning out all of the noise of the riot. He stared at her in shock for a moment, before he too, started to laugh, and together, they laughed hysterically on the floor for what seemed like forever.

"I like you _Quinn_ … I like you a lot." She grinned, rubbing the tears from her eyes and looking over to him, her smile surprisingly bright.

"I like you too J." His breath caught in his throat as she looked away, watching the madness outside.

 _Was this girl for real?_ He couldn't stop his eyes from raking over her; her hair had fallen down from its tightly spun bun, leaving it hanging in waves around her face. The blood from her eyebrow was drying, her jaw was bruised, but here she was in his cell, smiling as she watched the riot outside the door.

"Are you sure you're a real doc-tor, and not a _patient_?" She burst out laughing again, her bright white teeth shining as she threw her head back, nearly hysterical over the whole situation.

"I might be after this J." She wrapped the blanket tighter around herself, and settled back against the wall, studying him for a long moment.

"You're much nicer than they said you'd be." He grinned back at her, shrugging as he laid back on his bed.

"Well that's just cause I like ya Tell ya what, you can pay me back by offing that pain in the ass _Randall_." She grinned up at him, stretching her legs out and stifling a yawn.

"Sure thing, anyone else? I'll make a list." He turned in surprise to find she was grinning at him, her eyes bright despite the circumstances.

"I might take you up on that." She nodded, smiling again, yawning once more, and watching the chaos unfold.

"So 4 days?" He nodded, staring at the ceiling and wondering what it was going to be like- locked in his cell with a doctor until the riot broke.

"At most." She nodded, lying down and copying his position, staring at the ceiling.

"I have to ask- how did you end up here?" He groaned, deciding he'd kill her after all.

"I **don't** want to talk about my past with you for the next 4 days." She chuckled, shaking her head and looking over to him.

"No- I mean how'd you get caught this time?" He studied her for a moment before looking away.

"I killed Batman's _sidekick_. He got mad… put me here." She nodded, yawning and pulling the blanket closer to her chin.

"I always thought it would have to be really hard to catch you… unless you just get bored and let it happen." She rolled on her side, facing away from him, and allowing him to stare at her until she fell asleep.

 _This girl… This girl was like nothing he'd ever seen… hell. She was almost as crazy as he was. Too bad she was a little chubby- he was sure that under all those layers of fat, that there was a little clown waiting to break out._

"I'm going to keep her." He whispered to himself, before letting the noise of the riot lull him to sleep.

 **Please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hello! Thank you for reading, I really appreciate it! So, this chapter is just a little snippet- but the next chapter will be longer, and include a significant time jump!**

 **Please review and let me know what you think!**

 **Disclaimer- I don't own Suicide Squad**

"How are you today J?" Harleen sat down across from him, her smile bright as she pushed her glasses onto her nose.

"I'm fine doc-tor. How are you?" He grinned widely at her, wondering why she didn't put in as much effort as the other doctors. She had her hair pulled up into a messy bun, she didn't have on any makeup, and jeeze, she really needed to go on a diet. _At least the fat ones are usually easier to manipulate._ He chuckled at the thought, watching her raise an eyebrow and jot something down.

"Let's talk about your business affairs." The Joker raised an eyebrow back at her, she always surprised him with her questions.

"Sure sure, what do ya want to know?" She shrugged, leaning back in her seat and shuffling her feet a bit.

"What's the most successful part of your business?" He grinned, bouncing his knees happily.

"Killing people." She froze, her eyes wide.

"W-what?" She expected him to say arms dealing, or drugs or something- anything but murder.

"Yes, I've found I'm _quite good_ at it- as you've probably read in my file. And, well. It brings me the most inner _happiness_." He flashed a white smile at her, reading her face like an open book. _Fear, discomfort… interest?_

"How does… one get into the business of killing people?" The Joker grinned again, noticing she'd dropped her pen.

"Well, the first person I ever killed was my father." She snapped up the pen, writing it down quickly and watching him.

"Why?" He shrugged, grinning back at her, his eyes dark, unreadable.

"Why not?" He laughed then, making her jump slightly and causing him to laugh harder.

When she went home that night, she was too nauseous to eat dinner. She laid on her sofa, grabbing a bottle of wine, and staring at the wall for hours. She finally managed to make her way down the hall and stumble into bed, wondering what in the hell was wrong with the Joker. She could never kill one of her parents… sure she didn't have the happiest childhood, but she knew, she'd never be able to ever actually kill them over it. _It would be nice though…_ She grinned at the thought, shaking her head and pulling the blanket over her head.

The next day she pulled on a baggy sweater, and a pair of black dress pants, slipping into her flats and practically running out the door. She was late- again. She sighed in relief when she finally found a seat on the train, winded from running through the terminal to make sure she wouldn't miss it. She ran her hands over her hair, knowing she probably looked like crap, but then again- she didn't really care. Working with the Joker all day really took the energy out of her.

She jogged up the steps to the Asylum, and saw some of the other doctors turn to watch her, snickering as they took in her pink cheeks and messy hair. She sighed, dropping her head and shuffling quickly to her office.

She had 2 hours before her meeting with the Joker, so she buried her face in his files, reading over his crimes and his connections, without even realizing that she'd missed lunch and it was time to go down. She sighed, pinching her full cheeks and taking a deep breath.

"Time to go see my clown." She chuckled at the thought as she walked down, faintly wondering how long she'd last before he decided to kill her.

 **A/N: Please review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: AND TIME JUMP! Please let me know what you think!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Suicide Squad**

 **PLEASE REVIEW! 3**

13 months. She'd been treating Gotham's most notorious criminal, for 13 months, and still, he'd yet to fully open up to her. Harleen sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose absentmindedly as she held her glasses in her hand, twirling her desk chair slightly. Sure, she'd gotten some information out of him, mostly how much he enjoyed killing, but nothing like she'd hoped. She thought she'd waltz in, get him to open up after their first session, and be renowned as the wonderful doctor that cured the Joker from his insanity.

She glanced at the donut on her desk, and pushed it into the trash, grabbing her green tea before leaving. One of the unnoticed bonuses of dealing with the Joker- was she'd lost a crap ton of weight since she started treating him. For some reason, she never felt like eating before, or after their sessions. She chuckled to herself at the thought- _maybe it has something to do with the gruesome details he always like to share._

She adjusted the files under her arm carefully, juggling everything as she walked down the hall to Dr. Arkham's office.

"Harleen! Come in, come in!" He grinned widely at her, motioning for her to sit. She balanced her files on her knees, and dropped the drink at her feet, smiling at him and running a hand over her face again. It was well known that she was Dr. Arkham's favorite doctor. She was the only one willing to take the Joker as a patient- and she's lived the longest of all his doctors.

"Thanks for making time to see me Jerry." He smiled, nodding happily and sitting down.

"Of course! What can I do for you Harleen?" She took a deep breath, wondering what he'd say about her request.

"Well… I was… hoping to take some time off." He paused, his expression giving nothing away as he took her in.

"How much time?" He pushed forward in his seat, his eyes going to the large calendar on his desk.

"Three months." He froze, his eyes wide as he looked back up, his jaw slack.

"Three… three months? Is everything alright?" She bit her lip, not sure how she could tell him everything that was going on in her life.

"Well I… I mean- it's personal… but… no." She could tell by his expression, that he wanted details, but Harleen wasn't ready to talk about it. The moment she started talking about it, was the moment it all became real.

He nodded slowly and she knew his mind was reeling.

"And your patient?" Harleen sighed, she knew this would be the biggest hurdle of all.

"I was planning on telling him today at our session, he hasn't hurt me, or even tried to in the 13 months I've worked with him… I'm sure he'll be okay with a replacement." Jerry frowned at the thought, wondering what hell the Joker would rain down on the Asylum in her absence.

"Well… tell him today- will you finish out the week then?" Harleen nodded, one small weight, lifted off her shoulders.

"Yes, I'll finish up his files, and I can meet with his replacement if you'd like." Jerry nodded, glancing at the files on his desk.

"I'll take his case- I don't trust him with anyone but you or me." Harleen nodded, under any other circumstances, she'd be elated at the compliment, but she could care less at the moment. She had more important things to deal with.

Harleen left his office, and started the long walk down to the basement. The Joker's sessions were held there, far underground, to prevent any of his goons from attempting a breakout during his transportation to the therapy room.

She made the long trek, noticing faintly how more of the orderlies stared at her, and how some of the male doctors tried to talk to her more. She shrugged it off, maybe they could tell she was going through a rough patch and they were just trying to comfort her.

He was there, waiting for her like always. She'd gotten them to remove the straightjacket, but his hands were still cuffed, as were his ankles. Harleen sat across from him, pushing the files to the side, and running a hand over her face again.

"You look tired Doc. Working too _hard_?" She sighed, nodding slightly as she rubbed her neck.

"Something like that." He nodded, noticing her files pushed to the side. Normally they were open with a pad of paper in front of her so she could take notes.

"No _questions_ for me today?" She glanced up, seeing his look of surprise as he stared at her.

"Actually… I just wanted to talk today, about some things." He nodded, grinning wildly at her.

"I just love to _talk_." She smiled despite her mood, it took her a long time to get used to the way he emphasized certain words. It drove her nuts for the better part of her first month with him, but afterwards it became so natural to hear, she found herself doing it sometimes too.

"Well, it might not be a very happy one J." He frowned, pouting as she put her glasses back on and leaned forward.

"What's up Doc? You leaving me?" She paused, hearing the slight edge in his voice.

"No… well… yes… but just for a little bit." He frowned again, waiting quietly as his eyebrows pulled down angrily.

"I uh… my mom…" She drifted off again, staring at the wall for a long moment, trying to find the words.

"She dying?" Her eyes snapped back to him as he spoke, leaning back in his seat, his voice quiet- almost soft.

"Yes." He nodded, his feet starting to bounce.

"How long?" She gulped, fighting the sting in her eyes.

"2-3 months at most." He nodded, tilting his head as he looked at her.

"What about _me_?" She shut her eyes and smiled, he was always _so_ needy.

"Dr. Arkham is going to fill in for me. I'll be back at the end of 3 months, and then we'll pick up from there." He nodded, frowning as he mulled it over.

"You're definitely coming back?" She nodded again, wondering if he'd miss her.

"Yes, I promise." He smiled widely at that, leaning forward quickly.

"You always keep your promises Harley girl- I'll give you that." She smiled back, pulling out a deck of cards and passing them to him.

"Why don't we play Poker? You win- I'll bring you a Christmas present when I come back." He laughed again, nodding as he shuffled the cards in his lap.

"Fine- and if you win- I won't kill good ol' Jerry while you're gone." Harleen surprised herself as she burst out laughing, and the Joker stared at her in shock for a moment before her joined in. Both of them cackling until Harleen almost cried. She wiped away the tears from her eyes, and shuddered as she held in another laugh.

"It's about time that _laugh_ comes out, I'm glad to see _you finally_ think I'm funny." Harleen smiled as he dealt the cards, leaning forward and taking her pile.

"I always think you're funny- but it's unprofessional to encourage you." He grinned at that, nodding jerkily as he took his cards.

"Un-pro- _fessional_. My Harley girl? Never." Harleen laughed again, shaking her head as she shifted her cards around in her hand.

 **A/N: Please review! :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:**

 **Hi all! Just a baby chapter to hold you over :) the next chapter will be up soon! Thank you for the reviews and messages I have gotten- I appreciate them!**

 **Please review :)**

 **I don't own S.S.**

Three months. Three months had come and gone, but still her mother lingered. Harleen could barely stand it. Even though she was the only one of her siblings there when the times got tough, her mother berated her daily. She was too fat, she was too ugly, she was too dumb. She could barely contain her rage as she dealt with her mother.

"Harleen! I need my medicine!" She headed to the kitchen, grabbing the bottle and shaking out the pills. She froze, staring at the full bottle, and wondering how many a person would have to take before they died.

"Harleen! Get your fat ass up here!" She felt a smile growing on her lips.

"Just a minute mother! I'm making you tea!" Her mother huffed and Harleen moved quickly, grabbing a knife from the drawer next to the sink, and starting to cut the pills up into small pieces.

Four… eight… twelve… how many… Harleen sighed, _Mistah J would know_. She stopped at the thought and looked down at the crushed up pills for a long moment, pondering over what just went through her mind. She looked back to the bottle of pills before adding a few more. She supposed if it didn't work this time, she could always give her more later. She dumped the ground up pills into the tea, and added a shot of milk to even out the color.

"Harleen!" Her mother screeched again, and Harleen smiled, it would be over soon. She'd be free… soon.

"Here mom, I made you some tea." Her mother didn't bother looking at her as Harleen passed her the dose of medicine, with the tea. She smiled at her mom, fluffing her pillows before walking out of the room, and shutting the door.

"Fucking bitch." Harleen mumbled under her breath, wondering if it would really work. She headed downstairs, watching TV and contemplating bleaching her hair.

She waited three hours before taking the pill bottle up to her mother's bedroom, and opening the door. She paused, waiting for her to yell, but no sound came. She walked forward slowly, checking her mother's pulse, and finding her skin was cold. She felt tears well in her eyes as she took in her mother's body, and they streamed down her cheeks as she began to laugh, rigid, desperate laughs racked her body, causing her to fall on her butt. She was so happy- happier than she'd ever been before. The devil that tormented her, her whole life was gone- and Harleen had been the one to do it. She smiled, taking her mother's stiff hand, and opening it, wiping her finger prints off the medicine bottle, and folding her mother's dead fingers around it.

She took the mug of tea downstairs, and rinsed it out, before smashing it onto the floor, scooping up the pieces and throwing them into the trash. She made a new mug of tea, and dumped half out, leaving it next to her mother's bed, before going back downstairs.

She waited two hours before calling the doctors, and telling them that she'd finally passed. Now all she had to do was wait for them to collect the body. She fought back her laughs as they came, giving their sympathies, as they took out the body.

"It looks like she couldn't handle the pain anymore… she must have taken more than the prescribed dose." The EMT stood before Harleen, his expression sympathetic, and she felt a tear roll down her cheek from holding in her laughter. She nodded quickly, wrapping her arms around her chest to keep her body from shaking with giggles.

"At least she isn't in pain anymore." Her voice was quiet, she almost didn't trust it enough to speak, but the strain in her voice was accepted as sorrow. _At least she isn't_ _ **your**_ _pain anymore Harley Girl._ She nearly stumbled over her words as his voice rang through her mind, but she pushed it away, continuing the charade of the mourning daughter.

Harleen arranged to have her mother cremated, and buried at the funeral home. She wouldn't be attending, she'd already said goodbye to her mother in the sweetest way possible.

She pulled on her white leather jacket, and smiled as she walked down the steps of her childhood home, bags in hand. She vowed that this would be the last time she'd ever see the house she grew up in, and Harleen thought- this might be the best memory she'd ever had there.

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	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:**

 **Hi everyone! Sorry it's been so long since I've posted- school and work have been crazy to say the least- BUT ITS SUMMER NOW SO YAY! I'm going to try to update every week- fingers crossed I do it!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Suicide Squad, or the characters, BUT this is my story and my plot.**

 **Thanks!**

* * *

Harleen stood before her mirror, a woman changed. She had never been particularly close to her mother, but she couldn't help but feel an immense sense of freedom at her passing. She smiled; she had gone out the weekend before to buy some new clothes, none of her old ones fit anymore. She wanted to look nice when she got back, and she told herself that it was just because she was happier, lighter- but she knew, she wanted to look nice for her patient too.

It was more difficult than Harleen would have ever imagined- being away from the him. She realized she wanted to talk to him, to tell him about her mom, about what she did, everything. She supposed that's what happens when you live for your work. And when you become a murderer. She smiled at the thought, brushing her hair back from her face and studying her reflection.

She grinned again, looking at the new containers of makeup before her, and applying it quickly, burying the old Harleen under the layers of foundation and mascara.

She left her glasses on the counter, slipping in some contacts, and studying her reflection. She certainly looked different than she had four months ago. Her hair was lighter- due to falling asleep with the bleach in, and she was thinner, so much thinner. She wasn't sure anyone would recognize her. She frowned, hugging her arms around herself and taking a deep breath- the Joker would still recognize her… she was certain they would never forget each other. She was ready. The most negative part of her life was gone, and now… now she was free.

She took the train as far as she could, and then walked the remainder of the way to the Asylum, her gift for the Joker burning a hole in her purse. Of course he'd beaten her at Poker, he always did. And she was sure, that he'd love the gift she found. She'd missed Christmas, but she didn't think he'd mind.

She glanced down at her outfit, wondering if she'd get in trouble for being so casual. She wore a pair of white skinny jeans, with an oversized plum colored sweater, paired with matching plum pumps. As she walked up and swiped her badge, she felt everyone turn, to stare at her. She waved slightly, going to her office without looking back. Her hair was down in long waves, she wore makeup for the first time… in possibly ever, and she had to have lost at least 35 pounds while she was out. She sat down at her desk, glancing down at her name badge, and staring at the picture of the pudgy overweight girl who stared back at her. She frowned, deciding she'd have her ID picture retaken. She slipped the badge over her neck, and dropped her bag in her desk, heading to Arkham's office to get an update.

She'd spoken to him a few times while she was out, and he assured her that the Joker was fine, cooperating, but not giving up much. She noticed more people staring as she headed down the hall, and knocked loudly on his door.

"Come in!" She swung the door open, and was taken aback by the shocked expression on his face.

"Harl… Harleen?" She smiled slightly, sitting across from him and crossing her knees.

"How's he been?" Jerry sucked in a breath, before pushing back his glasses, shaking his head slightly and pulling out a thin file, passing it across the desk.

"He's asked how you were every day. Hasn't given me any specific details, but he's been fine. Very well behaved." Harleen scoffed, flipping through the few pages of notes and nodding.

"No outbursts, no altercations with guards or fellow patients?" Arkham grinned, shaking his head.

"Now I didn't say that… but for the Joker, well… he was very tame." Harleen nodded, smiling slightly and shutting the file.

"How are you?" He leaned forward, taking her in. Sure, he knew her mother just passed away, but she'd never looked better. She was so beautifully thin, her long pale hair hung in loose waves, and everything about her was appealing, he couldn't take his eyes from her.

"I've been alright… holding up." He nodded, grunting in agreement.

"You look good Harls. Real good." She paused, disliking his casual attitude and the way his voice lowered.

"Alright well I'm going to go check on my patient." He nodded, not taking his eyes from her ass as she walked out. Harleen sighed, shaking away the creeps as she dropped off the folder, and picked up her gift, heading to maximum security.

"Doctor Quinnzel?" One of the guards stared at her in shock as she walked through the metal detector, her heels clicking as she stepped through.

"You look… you look amazing." She felt her face flush, and awkwardly thanked him, taking the gift bag and continuing on her way to his cell. Several orderlies stopped her, telling her how beautiful she looked, and Harleen was starting to get aggravated. So what if she put on a little bit of makeup and didn't wear her glasses… she didn't look that different- she didn't even think there was a real difference in her appearance, until she got to his cell.

"Well well well… a visitor. But who are you?" She raised an eyebrow, watching as he leaned against the bars, taking her in.

"Oh come on J, you can't be serious. You too?" He paused, the sound of her voice was more than familiar to him, but this… this was not his Doctor Quinn-zel. This… this was… a goddess before him. He stared at her for a long moment, wondering if this was a joke being played on him, as she held out a green and purple gift bag, pushing it through the bars.

"Your present. Sorry it's late." He raised an eyebrow, taking the bag suspiciously, before peering in. He froze, looking back to her, and then back to the bag.

"What in god's name…" He drifted off, pulling out the large, ugly sweater. The sweater had a picture of… himself on it… wearing a Santa hat, and a little button that said "Press here".

"What the hell is this?" He looked back at her, and her smile grew.

"Push it." He frowned, looking back to the ugly knitted thing and then back to her.

"Come on Mistah J…. push it…. Push it!" She nearly squealed, her face glowing with delight. He couldn't deny her request, and so, he begrudgingly pressed the little button, waiting to see what would happen.

All of the sudden, little hidden lights flashed on the sweater, and a merry little tune started playing.

"Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg, the Batmobile lost a wheel, and the Joker got away! HA!" He couldn't help the grin that grew on his face, and he glanced to Harleen, seeing her holding her hands to her lips, trying not to laugh.

"I LOVE it" She squealed happily, jumping up and down a little bit and clapping with delight.

"Oh I knew you would!" He laughed, quickly pulling off his white uniform, and Harleen's breath caught in her throat as he pulled it on. She'd never seen him out of uniform before, his toned pale abs, were covered in various tattoos and scars. He laughed loudly as he hit the button again, watching the lights flash as the song played.

"I might need to send one of these to old Batsy." Harleen grinned, making the mistake of leaning against the bars.

"Well, it cost a hell of a lot more than I would have liked, but for you… it was worth it." The Joker walked towards her, realizing she wasn't paying attention to her surroundings. He reached forward quickly, as smooth as could be, and wrapped a pale hand around her throat, pulling her close. She gasped, grabbing onto the bars and trying to pull back, but he held her tighter, staring at her for a long moment as fear filled her eyes.

"I missed you Harley girl." Her eyes were wide- Where were the guards? How was no one noticing this? She couldn't find her voice; she just stared at him in surprise. It was the first time in nearly a year and a half, that he'd ever put his hands on her. He rubbed his thumb gently over her throat, humming in delight at how soft her skin was.

"I almost went crazy without you." Despite herself, a smile twitched on her lips, and she slowly reached out, putting a hand over his wrist, and pushing it back gently. He released her at once, dropping his arms and going back to his cot, pressing the button again and laughing once more as the song played.

"I missed you too J." He grinned up at her, but looked back to the shirt, obviously done with her visit.

"I'll see you this afternoon." He hummed a response, and hit the button once more. Harleen grinned, knowing he loved his gift.

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	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Two chapters in one day! Whaaattttttt.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Suicide Squad but I wish I owned Jared Leto :)**

 **Please Review!**

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She eagerly awaited their session, and kept busy by reviewing Jerry's notes. She was shocked to find that he did in fact ask for her, at the beginning of every single session. She felt a small smile grow on her lips, and continued reading until it was time to go.

She gathered her papers, and headed downstairs quickly, keeping her head down as all eyes followed her. She saw the guards waiting outside the room, and smiled, waving as she walked through. He froze as he saw her, her hair slipping over her shoulder as she shut the door. Her purple heels clicking as she walked. He couldn't take her eyes off her, she was changed… a different woman in front of him.

"How are you feeling today?" She smiled in delight when she saw he was still wearing the sweater she'd given him.

"Oh I'm fan- _tastic_ doctor." She smiled, sitting down and slipping her feet under the table.

"I'm glad to hear it J. I figured since today is my first day back in a little over- what, four months? That we'd just have a little chat about how things went with Dr. Arkham." The Joker's expression changed, it was blank, and Harleen wondered what she said that he disliked.

"Where would you like to start?" She smiled up at him, one knee bouncing under the table nervously.

" _Four_ months… that's a long time." His voice was emotionless, and she gulped nervously, what was wrong with him?

"Yes, it was a long time, but I'm back now." She smiled brightly at him, and he tilted his head slowly, watching her for a long moment before speaking again.

"You're different Harley Girl… you're…" He paused, his eyes lighting up as he saw it.

"You're free." She paused, her eyes widening as he grinned back at her before his laugh broke out, he threw his head back, cackling happily.

"Oh Harley, Harley… did it feel good? I know it had to feel so _good_ " She felt her heart race, did he know? How could he have known? She studied him carefully, shutting his file and pushing it to the side. Well… if he knew, might as well be blunt.

"Yes. It did." His laughter stopped at once, and he looked back at her in surprise. He didn't think she'd actually answer him.

"How'd you do it? Pillow to the face? Break her neck?" She wondered briefly how he had known what she did, but then she thought how he was a murderer, and could probably recognize it in her too.

"Pills in tea." He smiled again, his white teeth shining back at her.

"My, my, Doctor Quinn- _zel_. I would have never thought you the type." She shrugged, crossing her legs and leaning back in her seat.

"Yet here we are." He grinned wildly at that, nodding eagerly.

"Here we are- although- you had promised me it would only be _three_ months." She nodded, feeling her calm smile falter.

"I know. And I'm sorry about that." He shrugged, looking away and feigning hurt.

"Sorry doesn't make up for my extra month with ol' Jerry boy." Harleen smiled again, reaching across the table and placing her hand over his own.

"I'm not going to leave again Mistah J. I promise" He looked back to her, raising an eyebrow and turning his hand over under hers, their palms pressed together.

"I don't take kindly to people breaking their promises Harleen." She paused, he had never, not even once, called her by her actual name.

"Well- I don't plan on breaking this one..." She drifted off, realizing she still didn't have a first name to call him by. As if he sensed her disappointment, he squeezed her fingers, before slipping his hand away, leaning back in his seat.

"Joseph." She froze, her eyes wide as she stared at him.

"W-what did you just say?" He grinned, seeing her eyes widen with excitement.

"My real name- it's Joseph." She gaped at him, not even moving to get her pen.

"Are you lying to me?" He feigned offense, putting a hand over his heart tenderly.

"Why doc-tor, do you really think so little of me?" She chuckled, grabbing her pen quickly and scribbling it down.

"But I want to make something _very_ clear to you Harleen." She paused, looking up to him quickly, her pen frozen mid-stroke.

"You are the only one who calls me that. If anyone else so much as thinks it- I'll rip out their throat with my teeth." He flashed his pearly whites for emphasis, and Harleen nodded quickly, adding that to the notes.

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	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hello all! Please remember to take a moment after reading to review! It means a lot to me and helps keep me motivated to post! Thanks!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Suicide Squad**

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She went home that night, ecstatic over her progress with the Joker.

"Joseph…" She sat on her sofa, sipping wine with her feet curled under a blanket, mulling it over.

"That doesn't really suit him…" _No. What suited him was Joker_. She smiled at the thought, wondering what his last name used to be. She finished the bottle of wine, and stumbled into bed, snuggling up under the blanket and pulling her pillows around her.

" _Wake up, sugarplum" Harley groaned, rolling over and grumbling in her sleep._

" _Come on pumpkin, Daddy wants to see those beautiful baby blues" Harley sighed, rolling over, and finding her face pressed against a warm chest. She blinked slowly, seeing a pale white chest under her face._

" _Wh-what?" She leaned back slowly, gasping when she saw she was in bed with… him..._

" _There she is… my little Harley Girl." She lunged back, clutching the blanket to her chest as he laughed, putting his arms behind his head and leaning against her headboard. He smiled at her knowingly, and put one hand out, wiggling a finger in a "come hither" motion. She stilled, unable to move, and watched as annoyance flickered across his face._

" _I'm not going to ask you again honeybun." Harley gulped, slowly crawling towards him, and curling back up beside sighed, wrapping an arm around her bare shoulders, and leaning down, kissing her forehead gently._

" _Don't act so shy baby, you know this is what you want." She sighed, it was… it was what she wanted. She curled closer to him, wrapping an arm across his chest, and nuzzling against his shoulder._

Harleen jolted up at the sound of her alarm going off, her heart racing, and her hair stuck to her sweaty head.

"What the hell was that?!" She looked to her side, seeing she had been spooning her pillows in her sleep. She shook her head quickly, smacking her hand against one side to shake away the dream. She showered quickly, struggling to erase the image of the Joker in her bed.

She was distracted as she dressed, pulling on her tall black boots without thinking about if they were work appropriate or not.

She hopped on the train, her thoughts still buzzing as she leaned her head on the window, finding herself wondering if the Joker ever had a girlfriend.

"Let's talk about your personal life today." The Joker watched her curiously. All day she'd been avoiding eye contact, but several times he caught her staring at him with dark eyes.

"Whatever you say doc-tor" She nodded, her eyes on her notes for the time being.

"What… what's your home life like?" He paused, raising an eyebrow as she clicked her pen nervously.

"Uh, I have a penthouse… it's nice…" He drifted off, not sure what she wanted. She rolled her eyes, putting down her pen, and running her hands through her hair.

"Nevermind, what do you want to talk about?" She was agitated… but it couldn't be at him… _no, she was like this when she came in._

"Let's talk about you." She paused, looking up slowly, her eyes nervous.

"What about me?" He shrugged, cocking his head to the side and squinting at her.

"What's _your_ story- I mean, skip over the part about your mother- tell me something... _new_." _Something new_ … She thought for a moment, trying to think of something he didn't know.

"I had an eating disorder in high school" His eyes widened slightly, but he didn't really seem to care.

"Okay…" She drifted off, trying to think of something that would interest him.

"I have Batman pajamas." His eyes darkened immediately, and his nostrils flared as his lips formed a tight line.

" _Burn them_." She found she was fighting a smile- she should be terrified, he was mad, but for some reason, she found his reaction funny.

"Why? They are comfy!" His eyes narrowed again, and he rolled his neck, trying to relieve some tension.

" _Because I don't want to think of that_ _ **stupid Bat**_ _on your body_." He nearly growled it, and she froze, her eyes wide as she stared at him, her heart racing as she let his words sink in.

"Let's move on." She was flustered, he could see it, her chest was turning red, she was fidgeting with her pen again, keeping her eyes on the table.

"No- not until you promise to burn them." She looked up at him then, frowning.

"Then what am I gonna sleep in Mistah J? Because those are my favorite PJ's." He grinned then, picturing her in a nice pair of _Joker_ pajamas.

"Anything but those." She relented, grumbling that she'd burn them and looking back at her paper.

"I think you'll be surprised- you'll find something more comfortable in no time." She rolled her eyes again, holding a grudge for the rest of the session.

When she got home that night, she grabbed her trusty Batman pj's and took them out back to the trash bin, throwing them in, and flicking in a lit match, watching as they went up in flames.

"So long comfort" That night, she slept in her panties and a tank top, freezing without her toasty warm Batman pants.

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 **A/N:**

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